nOt LeTtInG u Go.....

am i wrong for not wanting to let go............?

Chaotic Calmness

::emotions ~ anger, hurt, happiness, confusion, disappointment, sad, content, excited, nervous::

Ever feel like the rainbow was there and you saw it?
Ever feel like the storm was coming to an end?

Its an ironic chaotic state - a state of calmness within - inner peace - when the world around you just seems to be fallin apart - things are crumbling down....but with the sound of your moan - the sound of a gasp, a sigh - everything just falls into place....everything for once split moment makes perfect sense...makes things just seem to serene so calm and so perfect.....reality hits and the choas comes back...its a never ending cycle....a cycle of CALM CHAOS.....

My mind is everywhere - i can't centralize enough to make this blog coherant - to make this all run smoothly and make sense...i read back and it becomes a rant...of all different emotions...


I'm often asked "what are we" - how do respond to something like that?
Nothing?
Everything?
Something?
I'm guessing there is no concrete answer...i guess its everything all @ once....i guess we are nothing to someone, everything to someone and something to someone...

Not looking for answers anymore...not looking for clearance...not looking for.....actually i'm looking for everything...

A mental mess....knowing that i don't need you but wanting you - knowing that i shouldn't want you but desiring you - DESIRES...what an intersting word...

Dictionary Meaning of Desire: to wish or long for; crave; want; to express a wish to obtain; ask for; request; sexual appetite or a sexual urge
Dictionary Meaning of Temptation:to entice or allure to do something often regarded as unwise, wrong, or immoral; to attract, appeal strongly to, or invite

Is it truly immoral? it is truly wrong?
*if a temptation or a desire makes you happy is it wrong to do it?* (would love to hear what my followers have to say about this)

---since this is my first real blog, i'll put out to my readers that i'll ask questions (in a different color) periodically that i would love to hear opinions to...so please feel free to respond in a comment....

*things could be so different with one simple decision*

fighting battles has never been a problem to me...i never minded losing them - its part of life - you fall, you bruise, you scrape, you get up....you are stronger and wiser and the next battle isn't as easy....but damn if this war isn't lookin bloody....the final outcome hasn't come out....can't explain it but there is still a fight in me...still a desire a temptation to want to keep fighting....maybe i should maybe i shouldn't....but its always been in my nature

~never give up until you just don't have anymore fight in you ~

"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love" ~ Albert Einstein

Getting to know me....

Soooo....I'm here...hoping this will help me learn myself...
Gotta loosen up...
I'll be back.....
Just need to break the ice......