The words

Today I sit and wonder the reasons of yesterday. And although I should let things go to progress I beat myself up over the decisions I made yesterday. The actions I took. The reactions.

I'm not one to ever truly use excuses for I believe that they don't exist. Reasons maybe but an excuse is just a crutch people use when they can't accept fault on something they did.

Instead of turning to people I shall start, regain, my connection with words. Words that I've so silently forgotten and how I've hindered them frm being completely powerful and meaningful. I've silenced my own thoughts and words and finally in the midst of all the changes and understandings they are bursting at the seams coming out in ways that they were originally not intended and therefore become an extremity.

Today I faced my true insecurity. And I shall start this year by being honest with myself and others. Vocalizing my issues. My insecurities. My defenses. For I want change and nothing is going to change unless I start reacting and acting on things differently.

((((raw thought. I just want to say I'm truly sorry)))

I can't right now....b back later