::emotions: lost completely lost::
The unbreakable cycle….
My cycle isn’t a Circle…it’s a parabolic line – a never ending parabolic line….There is the uphill which is great and amazing and than you reach the top and things seem so perfect and BOOM down they go….faster than the uphill climb waiting to reach rock bottom…and the momentum that brings you down bring you back up and you go with it because as a human you want to feel good you want to be “happy” <> ---so the next uphill feels great and you reach the top a little quicker b/c its never that initial high…and you rapidly turn around and come back down again with the momentum to go back up…
Like a rollercoaster – you can never make the same fall twice – each fall is closer and closer to the ground...until you eventually level out…and are @ the bottom….all you can do is decide “do I ride this rollercoaster again or do I move to a different one” – and I keep getting back in line for this same rollercoaster…this same cycle hoping for a different outcome…
There comes a time in life when you must leave that comfort zone leave that rollercoaster and jump on another – something completely different – with loops and turns and higher drops and a bigger risk…when will I make that move…the courage within keeps me in the comfort of my own ride…the ride I create the one I enable – the one that I am so used to – I’ve gotten off that rollercoaster and tried new ones, but with similar qualities…seeing a common denominator and just jumping on b/c its “safe”….
Learning to let go is just so hard…
In complete desperation – T……
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